Text Rendering. Organizing a formal text.

Exercise 2. Linking ideas. Organizing a formal text. Study the words and expressions used to link ideas.

First / Firstly / First of all, we must consider …

I should like to preface my argument with a true story.

Next, it is important to remember that …

Secondly and thirdly are also used with first/firstly for lists.

Finally/Lastly, we should recall that … [not ‘at last’]

The text alludes to several themes that need closer examination. [quoting/referring]

Turning to the question of foreign policy, … [changing to a new topic]

Leaving aside the question of pollution, there are also other reasons … [the writer will not deal with that question here]

In parenthesis, let us not forget that … [making a point that is a side issue, not part of the main argument]

In summary, to sum up, we may state that … [listing / summing up the main points]

In sum, the economic issues are at the centre of this debate. [listing / summing up the main points: much more formal]

In conclusion / to conclude, I should like to point out that …[finishing the text, talk]

We are forced to conclude that unemployment will always be with us.

Markers for explaining, exemplifying, rephrasing, etc.

To learn new words properly a lot of recycling is needed; in other words / that is to say, you have to study the same words over and over again. [That is to say is much more formal]

Some English words are hard to pronounce, for example / for instance, ‘eighth’.

The Parliament has different committees. Briefly, these consist of two main types. [the explanation will be short and not comprehensive]

She is, so to speak / as it were, living in a world of her own. [makes what you are saying sound less definite/precise; As is were is more formal.]

 Exercise 3. Fill the gaps with typical written-text markers. The first letter of each phrase/word is given.

Points for discussion crime and punishment:

F........ (1), it is important to understand why people commit crimes, i........ (2), what are the motives which make people do things they would never normally do? F........ (3), a young man steals clothes from a shop; is it because he is unemployed? A drug addict? Mentally disturbed? N........ (4), it is essential to consider whether punishment makes any difference, or is it just, a........ (5), a kind of revenge?

L........ (6), how can we help victims of crime? I........ (7), how can we get to the roots of the problem, rather than just attacking the symptoms?

 Exercise 4. Addition. Study the examples of adding words and phrases.

Further to my letter of 18/9/01, I am writing to you … [formal opening for a letter]

In addition to winning the gold medal, she also broke the world record.

In addition to his BA in History, he has a PhD in Sociology.

He’s on the school board, as well as being a local councilor.

Besides / Apart from having a salary, he also has a private income.

Apart from her many other hobbies, she restores old racing cars.

They sell chairs, tables, beds, and so on / etc. [and so on is more informal than etc.]

sentence/clause 1	and	sentence/clause 2
For this job you need a degree.	In addition	you need some experience
Video cameras are becoming easier to use.	Furthermore Moreover What is more	they’re becoming cheaper.
It’ll take ages to get there and it’ll cost a fortune.	Besides (a more emphatic way of adding information; similar in meaning to anyway)	we’ll have to change trains three times at least.
Children should respect their parents.	Equally Likewise	they should respect their teachers.
We’ll have all the stress of going to court and giving evidence.	On top of (all) that (even more emphatic: used mostly in informal spoken English)	we’ll have to pay the lawyers’ bills.

 Exercise 5.  Fill in the gaps in this letter with suitable adding words and phrases.

Dear Mr. Coldy,

............ (1) my letter of 16.3.03, I should like to give you more information concerning my qualifications and experience. .............. (2) holding a Diploma in Catering, I also have an Advanced Certificate in Hotel Management. The course covered the usual areas: finance, front services, publicity, space allocation ............(3).

I also wish to point out that ............... (4) holding these qualifications, I have now been working in the hotel trade for five years. ....................... (5), my experience prior to that was also concerned with tourism and hospitality.

I hope you will give my application due consideration.

Yours sincerely,

Nora Hopy

 Exercise 6. Match the markers on the left with the appropriate function on the right

marker	function
1 leaving aside	change the topic
2 in parenthesis	read something earlier in the text
3 turning to	this will not be discussed
4 in conclusion	this document is about another one
5 with reference to	to finish off
6 see above	as an aside / secondary issue

 Exercise 7. Cause, reason, purpose and result. Study the examples of words and phrases used to introduce cause, reason, purpose and result.

Owing to the icy conditions, the two lorries collided. [rather informal]

Owing to the fact that the conditions were icy …

The collision was due to the icy conditions.

The collision was caused by the ice on the road.

The cause of the collision was ice on the road.

Here are some other cause words in typical contexts. They are all rather formal, and more suitable for written use.

The rise in prices sparked (off) a lot of political protest. [often used for very strong, perhaps violent reactions to events]

The President’s statement gave rise to / provoked / generated a lot of criticism. [slightly less strong than spark (off)]

The new law had brought about / led to great changes in education. [often used for political / social change]

The problem stems from the inflation of recent years. [explaining the direct origin of events and states]

The court-case arose from / out of allegations made in a newspaper. [the allegations started the process that led to the court-case]

***

The following sentences are all fairly formal for expressing reasons for and purposes of doing things.

I wonder what his motives were in sending that letter? [purpose]

I wonder what prompted him to send that letter? [reason/cause]

She wrote to the press with the aim of exposing the scandal. [purpose]

I’ve invited you here with a view to resolving our differences. [sounds a bit more indirect than with the aim of]

He refused to answer on the grounds that his lawyer wasn’t there. [reason]

The purpose of her visit was to inspect the equipment.

***

Here are some expressions to talk about results, most of them are fairly formal.

He did no work. As a result /As a consequence / Consequently, he failed his exams.

The result / consequence of all these changes is that no-one is happy any more. [The examples with consequence/consequently sound more formal than result]

His remarks resulted in everyone getting angry. [verb + in]

The events had an outcome that no-one could have predicted.

[results of a process or events, or of meetings, discussions, etc.]

The upshot of all these problems was that we had to start again. [less formal than outcome]

When the election results were announced, chaos ensued. [very formal]

 Exercise 8. Make full sentences using ‘cause and reason words’.

EXAMPLE closure of 20 mines → strikes in coal industry The closure of 20 mines sparked (off) a lot of strikes in the coal industry.

1 announcement → strong attack from opposition

2 new Act of Parliament → great changes in industry

3 signal failure ← train crash

4 violent storm → wall collapsed

5 food shortages → serious riots in several cities

6 food shortages ← bad economic policies

 Exercise 9. Make two sentences into one, using the ‘reason and purpose’ words in brackets.

EXAMPLE There was a controversial decision. She wrote to

the local newspaper to protest (prompt) The controversial decision prompted her to write to the local newspaper to protest.

1 I didn’t contact you. I’d lost your phone number. (reason)

2 I will not sign. This contract is illegal. (grounds)

3 The government passed a new law. It was on order to control prices. (aim)

4 She sent everyone flowers. I wonder why? (motives)

5 The salary was high. She applied for the job. (prompt)

 Exercise 10 In the dialogue below, two politicians are arguing. Note how the words in bold refer to parts of the argument.

A: Your claim that we are doing nothing to invest in industry is

false. We invested £10 billion last year. You’ve ignored this fact.

B: But the investment has all gone to service industries.

The real point is that we need to invest in our manufacturing industries.

A: That argument is out-of-date in a modern technological society.

Our position has always been that we should encourage technology.

B: But that view won’t help to reduce unemployment.

situation: state of affairs, position (with regard to)

problem: difficulty [more formal], crisis, matter

response: reaction (to), attitude (to)

solution: answer (to), resolution (to), key (to), way out (of)

evaluation [of the solution]: assessment, judgement

 Exercise 11. Draw lines from the left-hand column to the right-hand column joining each sentence with a suitable label, as in the example.

1 The earth is an orbit around the sun.		problem
World poverty and overpopulation.		evaluation
3 God exists and loves everybody.		fact
4 I’ve run out of cash.		belief
5 It had proved to be most efficient		view
6 They should get married, to my mind.		issue

 Exercise 12. Linking ideas. Organizing a formal text. Study text-referring words.

Text-referring words take their meaning from the surrounding text. For example, this sentence in isolation does not mean much: We decided to look at the problem again and try to find the solution. What problem? The words problem and solution help organize the argument of the text, but they do not tell us the topic of the text. They refer to something somewhere else. Here are some examples. The word in bold refers to the underlined words.

Pollution is increasing. The problem is getting worse each day.

Should taxes be raised or lowered? This was the biggest issue in the election. [topic causing great argument and controversy]

Whether the war should have been avoided is a question that interests historians.

Let’s discuss crime. That’s always an interesting topic. [subject to argue about or discuss, e.g. in a debate or in an essay]

Punishment is only one aspect of crime. [part of the topic]

Text-referring words are often used with ‘problem-solution’ types of texts, where a problem is presented and ways of solving it are discussed. In the following example, the words in bold concern a problem or solution. Try to learn these words as a family.

The situation in our cities with regard to traffic is going from bad to worse.

 Congestion is a daily feature of urban life. The problem is now beginning to affect our national economies. Unless a new approach is found to control traffic, we will never find a solution to the dilemma.

 Exercise 13. Fill in the gaps with an appropriate word torefer to the underlined parts of the sentences.

1 So you were talking about animal rights? That’s quite a big ……………… nowadays.

2 We are running out of funds. How do you propose we should deal with the ………………?

3 Is there life on other planets? This is a ……………… nobody has yet been able to answer.

4 (Teacher to class) You can write your essay on ‘My best holiday ever’. If you don’t like that ………………, I’ll give you another one.

5 She thinks we should all fly around in tiny little helicopters.

This ……………… to the traffic problem in cities is rather new and unusual. I wonder if it is viable?

Exercise 14. Categorising and including. Study expressions used for categorising and including.

Japanese visitors comprised/made up 70 % of the hotel’s guests last year. [70 % consisted of]

The course is comprised of two elements: reading and writing. [is composed of]

These two approaches can be subsumed under one heading. [brought together / united]

The book embraces a number of issues, from the economic to religious ones. [covers / includes]

Her philosophy is difficult to categorise. [label as belonging to a particular type or class]

Exercise 15.  Rewrite these sentences using the verb in brackets and making any other necessary changes.

1 70 % of the landmass is mountain ranges. (COMPRISE)

2 A wide variety of subjects are dealt with in the book. (EMBRACE)

3 I think these three sections can all come under one heading. (SUBSUME)

4 Poems are not easily amendable to being put into different types. (CATEGORISE)

Exercise 16.  Examples of  Summarizing.

Look at two examples of summarized parts of the text. In each of the summaries notice that the writer documented by including the author/year at the end of the passage.

Original Passage I

Height connotes status in many parts of the world. Executive offices are usually on the top floors; the underlings work below. Even being tall can help a person succeed. Studies have shown that employers are more willing to hire men over 6 feet tall than shorter men with the same credentials. Studies of real-world executives and graduates have shown that taller men make more money. In one study, every extra inch of height brought in an extra $1,300 a year. But being too big can be a disadvantage. A tall, brawny football player complained that people found him intimidating off the field and assumed he "had the brains of a Twinkie." (p. 301) ---Locker, K. O. (2003). Business and administrative communication(6th ed.). St. Louis, MO: Irwin/McGraw-Hill.

 Step 1. Identify the main points in the original passage.

Topic sentence: “Height connotes status in many parts of the world.”

Main point: “Even being tall can help a person succeed.”

Main point: “Executive offices are usually on the top”.

Main point: “being too big can be a disadvantage”.

Step 2. Look at summaries. As you read the sample summaries below determine if the main points were included and if the unimportant points were discarded. Also check to see if both wording and sentence structure do not follow those of the original.

Summary A:

Throughout the world, being tall will lead to professional success. In fact, research shows that employers are more likely to hire taller men and to pay them more, as compared to shorter men with the same qualifications (Locker, 2003).

Ñ [This summary is too brief. Further, it changes the meaning slightly, giving the impression that being tall guarantees success.]

Summary B:

In most countries, height suggests status. For instance, higher executives normally use top floors of office buildings. Further, research shows that men over six feet tall are more likely to be hired than those shorter than them but with the same qualifications. Taller men also receive greater incomes, possibly as much as $1,300 a year more than those only one inch shorter than them. However, as a tall and muscular football player points out, a disadvantage to being tall is that some individuals may perceive you as threatening or even dumb (Locker, 2003).

Ñ [This summary is too long. Instead of focusing on the main points, it includes all of the details that are in the original passage.]

Summary C:

Though height may connote slowness to some people, in the business world, it is almost universally associated with success. For example, taller men are more likely to be hired and to have greater salaries. Further, those in top positions within a company are more likely to work on the top floors of office buildings (Locker, 2003).

Ñ [This summary is the most effective. In addition to including all of the main points, it leaves out the unimportant details.]

 Exercise 17.  Look at two examples of parts of the text. Identify main point in each part, write a summary for each part.

Part 1. Audiences want the sense that you’re talking directly to them and that you care that they understand and are interested. They’ll forgive you if you get tangled up in a sentence and end it ungrammatically. They won’t forgive you if you seem to have a “canned” talk that you’re going to deliver no matter who the audience is or how they respond. You can convey a sense of caring to your audience by making direct eye contact with them and by using a conversational style.

---Locker, K. O. (2003). Business and administrative communication (6th ed.). St. Louis, MO: Irwin/McGraw-Hill. (p. 475).

Part 2. Writing a memo is essentially like writing any other form of technical communication. First you have to understand your audience and purpose. Then you gather your information, create some sort of outline, write a draft, and revise it. Making the memo look like a memo-adding the structural features that your readers will expect—is relatively simple. Your software has templates, or you can build the structure into your outline or shape the draft at some later stage.

--Markel, M. (1996). Technical communication: Situations and strategies. New York: St. Martin’s Press. (p. 424).

Part 3. Vocalizations that might be construed as symbols of various sorts in different animals are usually accompanied by gestures. One student found that only 3 percent of the signals among rhesus monkeys were not accompanied by gestures. Whatever animals express through sounds seems to reflect not a logical sequence

of thoughts but a sequence accompanying a series of emotional states. Animals’ communicative activities thus differ from human language in that they consist essentially of signs not arbitrary symbols. Finegan, E. (1994). Language its structure and use (2nded.). Fortworth: Harcourt Brace College Publishers. (p.470)

 Exercise 18.  Example Summaries. Read the passage below and summarize it using one sentence. Read example responses and  judged their quality of writing and on how well they present the key points in the passage.

The United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has released a new report on anthropogenic climate change.

The findings of the report include the following:

 The world's average surface temperature has increased by around 0.74°C over the past 100 years (1906 - 2005). A warming of about 0.2°C is projected for each of the next two decades.

The best estimates for sea-level rise due to ocean expansion and glacier melt by the end of the century (compared to 1989 - 1999 levels) have narrowed to 28 - 58 cm, versus 9 - 88 cm in the 2001 report, due to improved understanding. However, larger values of up to 1 m by 2100 cannot be ruled out if ice sheets continue to melt as temperature rises.

Sea ice is projected to shrink in both the Arctic and Antarctic regions. Large areas of the Arctic Ocean could lose year-round ice cover by the end of the 21st century if human emissions reach the higher end of current estimates. The extent of Arctic sea ice has already shrunk by about 2.7 per cent per decade since 1978, with the summer minimum declining by about 7.1 per cent per decade.

Snow cover has decreased in most regions, especially in spring. The maximum extent of frozen ground in the winter/spring season decreased by about 7 per cent in the Northern Hemisphere over the latter half of the 20th century. The average freezing date for rivers and lakes in the Northern Hemisphere over the past 150 years has arrived later by some 5.8 days per century, while the average break-up date has arrived earlier by 6.5 days per century.

 It is "very likely" that precipitation will increase at high latitudes and "likely" it will decrease over most subtropical land regions. The pattern of these changes is similar to what has been observed during the 20th century.

Examples of  Summaries

1) A new UN report finds that increasing surface temperature around the world is causing rising sea levels, shrinking sea ice and snow cover, and changes in precipitation.

2) United intergovermental panel on climate change report that climatict changes in northern hemisphere will cause drastick change in sea current and will raise the sea level.

3) Due to the latest report of IPCC about the wordwide climate, Green House Effect has affected the earth severely on various aspects.

4) A new UN report finds that increasing surface temperatures around the world are causing rising sea levels, shrinking sea ice and snow cover, and changes in precipitation.

5) United intergovermental panel on climate change report that climatict changes in northern hemisphere will cause drastick change in sea current and will raise the sea level.

 ÑWhile the response includes one key detail, other information from the passage is left out or misunderstood. Missing or incorrect use of prepositions and verbs prevents the response from receiving full credit for grammar. The vocabulary used is appropriate. There are three spelling errors. Although poorly put together, the response is one complete sentence.

6) Due to the latest report of IPCC about the wordwide climate, Green House Effect has affected the earth severely on various aspects.

ÑThe summary does not include any supporting points or key details. A small grammatical mistake prevents this response from receiving full credit for grammar, although the meaning of the sentence is clear. The use of “due to” instead of “according to’’ makes it seem that the IPCC report caused the greenhouse effect. There is one spelling error. The response is one complete sentence.

7) A new UN report finds that increasing surface temperatures around the world are causing rising sea levels, shrinking sea ice and snow cover, and changes in precipitation.

ÑThe topic has been accurately discussed and the supporting points are included. The vocabulary used is precise. All words are spelled correctly. The response is one complete sentence.

 Exercise 19. Example Summaries. Read the passage below and summarize it using one sentence. Read example responses and judged their quality of writing and on how well they present the key points in the passage.

For millions of years, Mediterranean sea turtles have been coming to the shore of southern Lebanon to lay their eggs. Every summer, their babies hatch and literally run for their lives on the strip of sand that separates their nests from the sea. An endangered species, they had been largely ignored in this part of Lebanon until two women set out to protect them. Mona Khalil was inspired by a walk on the beach during a visit to her homeland, when she first saw the turtles. Upon learning that they were close to disappearing from her country, Khalil decided to “come back and do something about them”. The next year, 2000, she returned and teamed up with Habiba Fayed, who shares her passion for the environment. They opened a bed-and-breakfast in the Khalil family home to finance their efforts. Guests could simply vacation or, in the spirit of ecotourism, they could help the owners protect the turtles' nests and keep the beach clean. Female turtles travel to the exact spot where they were born to dig their nests in the sand, laying an average of 70 to 100 eggs. This is the moment when the women intervene. They protect the nests from predators by burying an iron grid in the sand above the eggs. The spaces on the grid are large enough to allow the baby turtles to emerge after a month and find their way to the sea...and to a chance at life.

Examples of  Summaries

1) For the millions of years the turtles were coming laying their eggs in summer and the babies run seperates their nests, ignoring in war torn until two women set out to protect them and Mona Khalil saw the turtles and decided to do something so in the end the baby turtle to emerge after a month.

   While the response includes some main points, other key information from the passage is left out and information not in the passage is included. This response shows limited control over simple grammatical structures. The vocabulary is basic. There is one spelling mistake. The response is one sentence.

2)  Mediterranean sea turtles which is an endangered species lay their 70 to 100 eggs at the shore of southern Lebanon but now Mona Khalil with her team protecting turtle's egg from damaging or from pradators by buring iron grid in the sand above the nests.

    The topic has been accurately discussed and the supporting points are included. Missing or incorrect use of prepositions and verbs prevents the response from receiving full credit for grammar. The vocabulary used is appropriate. There are three spelling errors. The response is one sentence.

3)  After millions of years of being endangered in war-torn coast of southern Lebanon, Mediterranean sea turtles were finally protected by two women, Mona Khalil and Habiba Fayed, who opened a bed-and-breakfast and with the help of the guests, protected turtles’ eggs by burying an iron grid in the sand above the eggs.

      The topic has been accurately discussed and the supporting points are included. This response shows good control of standard English grammar with very few grammatical errors. The vocabulary used is appropriate. All words are spelled correctly. The response is one sentence.